It's Pride weekend in Manila (or in the country?) and although I won't be able to join the celebration tonight by going to the White Party in Malate, I am one with the community in celebrating the "happy" life in my own small way.
This country still has a long way to go when it comes to LGBT issues, that's for sure. Much work is to be done, and the struggle that goes way back into the 70s, 80s goes on.
It's not really surprising.
If the LGBT community in the West is still in need of putting up a good fight for recognition and acknowledgment from their supposedly developed societies, what more could be expected from our Third World country?! Thank you for the individuals who continue to help put a voice to the community.
Forgive me, but the activist in me is getting a little stirred up by today's festivities, or lack of it. Hehehe!
Anyway, here is my "wonder list" on this special weekend. I'm calling it "wonder list" and not a "wish list" because I believe that change will happen. It's only a matter of wondering when it would really happen. I'm not calling it a "wish list" because wishes are a bit far from reality.
Here goes.
1.) I wonder when would people begin to understand that to be gay does not automatically mean that a man wants to be a woman; or that a woman to be a man.
C'mon. Sure there are queers who feel that way, and I respect them. What I'm saying here is that I wonder when would the public see that the community is much more diverse.
Sure, you got to the parloristang bading and the maton na tibo. But you've also got the gay guy who sports a goatee and loves cars or maybe some really butch contact sport. In the same way, you've got the femme lesbian who loves flirty dresses, and chic makeup and designer handbags.
That's why the rainbow symbolizes us, right? Because we're as diverse as the colors on its spectrum.
2.) I wonder when would people begin to understand that a gay relationship is not necessarily between an effeminate guy/straight guy or a butch lesbian/straight girl.
When I told a girl friend that I was hanging out with this straight guy, her comment was, "Hey, that's great. Who knows?! Maybe next you'll be celebrating anniversaries." I was like, "Girlfriend, maybe you should be teleported back to the stone age."
It's a bit tiring to explain that relationships between two gay guys or two gay girls do exist, but hey, if that's what's going to take to get people to understand things, then I'll be more than glad to explain it over and over again.
3.) I wonder when would people begin to acknowledge that discrimination exists. By discrimination, I'm not even talking about getting fired for being a fag, or being refused entry to a drinking establishment for wearing a dress and not a pair of pants.
I'm talking about snide remarks regarding a person's gender. How many times have we heard the comment, "Bading kasi iyon, eh." or "Palibhasa kasi tibo yan." Seriously, what does the person's gender have to do with the mean attitude or the under performance at a task, maybe?
In a past volunteer work (this doesn't involve Pahinungod), the group needed to do some heavy lifting. But since there were only a few men, one of the bosses suggested I go with a group of girls to help out with carrying boxes. One of the older bosses then remarked, "Sus, eh isa pa iyan." I should have clobbered that bitch. Instead, I shut up and chose to keep my job. In my head, I was thinking, "I'm more of a man than any of the other assholes in this group," but I wasn't brave enough to stand up against that person.
Still, I should consider myself lucky. I can only imagine how it is for the others putting up with ostracism and living in the margins on a daily basis because they choose to be who they are.
4.) I wonder if the public knows that there are those who experience violence for being queer. We've read about it in the US, and a couple of news reports in Europe, but locally, I've yet to see it on the papers. Whether it's the bullying at school because the little boy can't dribble a ball or to something more severe like lesbians getting raped because of the notion that experiencing cock would make a lesbian want to be with a man, these forms of violence against the community do exist.
I remember when I was still doing Icon, I came across this study on violence against lesbians. Cases of rape, physical violence were documented. And these are just the few who had the courage to voice out their experiences. Who knows what the others are experiencing?
These are just a few of the things I can think of right now. I'm sure there are alot more other issues to be covered. And with the vast work needed to be done, where does one begin really?
I don't know the answer, but I'm guessing it begins with each person. Change in thinking, openness to change are probably needed. Together with these, nurturing and inculcating tolerance, compassion and understanding among everyone could definitely contribute something. Yeah?
Happy Pride!
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