It's only the second day of a brand new year and already there is a brewing storm headed to my direction.
I will choose not to write about it in detail but I will write though that it's been causing me stress.
Have you ever felt something in your nape from thinking too much about things? That's stress, right? I tell myself that I shouldn't be stressing myself because doing so would not do me any good. The last thing I need is for me to be in the A&E unit of some hospital. LOL!
I don't really know what to feel right now. A certain part of me is worried. Another part is angry. Another part is feeling rebellious.
Worried because I dun think we're ready for the worse yet. Angry because I feel that I and two people close to my heart are subjected to a situation we did not choose. Rebellious because in my head I am questioning why, why do we feel like we dun have a choice, and how, how did we get into this situation?
And since things have yet to unfold, there is really nothing I can do but wait. Wait and see how things will pan out. I am praying for guidance. I am praying for strength and faith. I am praying for clarity in thought and seeing. Surely, there must be a reason behind this early test.
Above all I am praying for acceptance. So far, acceptance is the one that turning out to be an extremely difficult thing to do on my part.
Because to accept things would mean that I am okay with it. And that's the thing, I'm not okay with it.
Maybe I just have to accept it and have faith that things will turn out for the better. Maybe things feel that they are extremely difficult at the moment, because I'm trying to resolve it all on my own when there is no need to do it alone.
I really pray for things to be better. And I am hopeful that this will just be for the first month of the year. The rest of the year will turn out to be awesome. I have to believe that.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
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