Fatherhood becomes me... Hahaha

I wonder who's having it more difficult - a woman looking for a sperm donor or a man looking for an egg donor.

In past entries, I have mentioned that I dream of becoming a father (but not a husband... well, husband in a traditional context, at least). I didn't really think I would one day think about fatherhood, but the thought has been at the back of my mind for two, maybe three years now.

Uhm, I'm not thinking of doing it any time soon though. Man, just hearing how much pre-school costs these days is enough to make me postpone the plan... hehe! But when the time that I feel like I'm ready to raise a child does come, I wonder where I'm going to find a healthy egg for one of my (hopefully) healthy swimmers.

We hear about sperm banks and sperm donors. I wonder if there is such a thing as an egg bank? I'm sure that there are egg donors, because I came across some articles on it. But would I really want the egg of a complete stranger? Or should one already be content from knowing that the egg donor is a healthy, smart, pretty individual?

And how exactly does that work?

A woman who wants to bear a child can have an agreement with the man that he should get lost after he gives his end of the bargain.

But for a man who wants to have a child, I have a feeling it's going to be more complicated. How would the arrangement with the woman be? Would he just give a cup of his reproductive produce to the fertile woman and then wait for her with the healthy baby after nine months? Should he be present during the pregnancy months, just to make sure that the baby is well? What if some kind of attraction arises between the two? What if the woman decides she wants to be part of the kid's life?

Yaiks! I shudder at the thought of being forced to live with someone just because they brought a child into the world together.

Or maybe, just maybe, I would actually turn out to be an extremely lucky guy, and find someone who's not only willing to raise a child, but already has a child. Hehehe!

Oh well, we'll see. We'll see. With the way things are going, it looks like my two younger brothers have the bigger chance of becoming a father. Hehe!

Who's that little boy?

There was a surprise visitor in the house yesterday. I was doing my usual Sunday morning chores when I heard a little boy asking for the front door to be opened. I haven't heard that voice for the longest time, but I knew who that kid was - Joaquin.

Joaquin is a godson I rarely see. I do want to spend more time with him, but circumstances won't allow it. How he came into this world is a story worthy of a soap opera episode, and while I did get to take care of him during his first nine months, he was brought to another home and the next thing I know, he's this adorable growing boy already.

It was funny how he reacted when he saw me opening the door. I asked him, "Do you know who I am?" He shyly replies, "Ninong Angelo." I let him in and he runs around the living room, and goes over to my Dad whom he calls "Tonio" to say hello. For the next hour or so, he just goes around the house playing PC games, running around, and doing other kid stuff.

I watch him and there's just something about this kid that brings out the "I want to be a Dad" in me.

Even if the traditional ones would say that they need to have a wider world experience or that they need to grow out of their youth before they can share some words of wisdom, I believe kids can teach you things.

And on the way to work this morning, I realized one thing I learned from Joaquin. I'm reserving that entry for the approaching Valentine's Day. Harharhar!

Man Juice and Fatherhood...

"You can have my sperm, if you want."

I said to a girl friend the other day, and I know, I know, it didn't sound the way I had meant it to sound. The intention for that statement was to offer some help. A good friend was telling me about some "issues" about her ovaries, and since she's starting to feel that it's probably time to bear a child, I jokingly volunteered my own. (I was considered as a last resort though. Hahaha!)

I even presented the pros of the crazy idea. I said to her, "If you think about it, it would be a win-win situation. There'd be absolutely no talk about marriage for obvious reasons. The child need not carry my name, which I think you'd like. You'll get to be a Mom and hopefully, it'll also help the ovary "issue." You can date whoever you want to date. I can date whoever. And I'd finally be a Dad, which I' started dreaming of when I turned 25."

We both laughed at this outlandish and really insane idea.

I'm dreaming of becoming a Dad, but given the situation, I know it's far from happening. Why? While I do want to be a Dad, I don't want to be a husband to any Mrs. (although I know I probably could be.)

But fatherhood, that's a different matter. I can see myself as a soccer Dad - bringing my kid to school, cheering for him (or her) during intramurals, attending PTA meetings, organizing school fundraisers. Hahaha! Ten years ago, I wouldn't have thought about these things. Haha!

I think that the day I hear a little human being call out to me "Dad", then I could really say I've had the greatest life experience and probably I'd be happiest.

But until then, I'd probably have to be happy and content with being the refined "Tito."