I am...

Found this on another Multiply site. It's worth reading whatever your religious, economic, sexual, and so on orientation is.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk loosing my family and friends.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”

if you believe that homophobia should be stopped, please repost on your site

More good things about the Baguio trip...

Here are some more of my favorite photos from the Baguio trip over the weekend. I really love the man on the street shot (by Thea) and the thinking man shot (by Reena). Hehehe! Aside from the Panagbenga festival itself, what also made the trip enjoyable were the visit to Good Shepherd for their famous native delicacies, walking along Session Rd., having Andok's for lunch and for dinner (haha!), late lunch at the cozy PNKY B&B, finding Baguio Country Club's raisin loaf at a Caltex Star Mart, having my photo with the Chowking guy (haha!), and of course, on the top of the list, is hanging out with really good friends. The seven-hour trip (that's just one-way) was really worth it.

Panagbenga was one happy trip...

The Baguio trip started out pretty rocky and with so much challenges, but everything turned out well and I'm just happy that it was all worth it.

After standing in line for more than hour, I was able to purchase two tickets for the 5AM trip. I was hoping I'd get a 2AM trip, but because of the festival and the long weekend, more people probably decided to go up to Baguio. When I got the tickets, I had a side trip to Gateway where I met with Carlo for coffee and get-together. Got home by 2AM, prepared my stuff, slept for 40 minutes, and then I was off to the bus terminal for my trip.

When I got there, a guy was announcing over a PA system what bus trip was boarding. What I heard really woke me up. It was almost 5AM, but the guy was calling passengers who had 12.55AM tickets. Oh man, this was going to be a long wait I thought. Choosing to remain Zen, I took a seat and waited. Perhaps so many pissed passengers have left that I was able to get on the bus by 7AM. That was still good compared to the other passengers who had to wait for four or five hours.

Because I didn't have much sleep, I pretty much slept throughout the entire trip and that was really good. When we reached Baguio, Arlyn fetched Reena and I at the terminal. We then met with Thea. We were all just so happy to see each other.

The following days was spent different things. Reena joined Arlyn most of the time. Since Arlyn was in Baguio for a media relations trip, they got to go around doing non-Panagbenga events. Reena was able to buy tons of vegetables and some jackets at the ukay-ukay. I, on the other hand, was really planning to join the Panagbenga Festival, and it was great that Thea was covering it so I got to see the festival. I even got VIP seats for the float parade. Hehehe!

It was a good trip. I was able to do the things I wanted to do - get out of the city, attend the festival, enjoy the cool weather of Baguio, hang out with cool friends from work.

Currently loving Gossip Girl and Brothers and Sisters...

Monday was spent at home watching season 1 of Gossip Girl. Loving that new TV series along with ABC's Brothers & Sisters. Haha! Gossip Girl is sort of like The O.C. community transported to the East Coast. Haha!

Off to Baguio for the Long Weekend...

Here's something spontaneous. Decided to go to Baguio for the Panagbenga Festival this weekend. Thea and Arlyn are already there, and this afternoon, finalized plan to go up to Baguio and follow. Now standing in line at the Victory Liner terminal. Packed with people. Hoping to get a 2AM trip, but it looks highly unlikely. Eeep!

Uneventful Days...

Hmm, the past few days have been pretty uneventful, which is why I haven't been posting. Hehe. It's all been pretty much work, work, work. Meetings, meetings, meetings. Currently preparing a presentation on Internet safety and security. Almost done with it, even if the deadline isn't til Friday. Last night, I stayed at the office til 10PM with Monet and Reena. We were planning to have dessert at this new place at Greenbelt 5, but it was already closed when we got there. Actually, all the shops were already closed save for M Cafe and Max Brenner. We chose to have dessert at Max Brenner. It was a good ending to a working day. We just talked (ranted) about our families and work over sinful chocolate creations. Mwehehe! Called it a night by 12 midnight. After dropping off Monet at her house, Reena and I headed to QC. There was something wrong with Pumpkin (her car). It was only when we were at a gas station in QC that we saw the flat tire. Eeep! Anyway, we both made it to our homes so all is good. A long weekend is coming up and I'm planning to go to Baguio for the Panagbenga Festival. Now, that should be interesting.

Started on Changing Tides...

Started reading again. Finally took the new Michael Thomas Ford novel - Changing Tides - out of its plastic wrapping and turned to page one. Of course, before that, I just had to feel the crisp pages of the book and I just had to intoxicate myself with the scent of a newly opened book. Hahaha! Is that weird?

Michael Thomas Ford is one of my favorite authors of all time. I have all his novels and I love, love, love them all. Among his essay collections, the only one I got to read was Alec Baldwin Doesn't Love Me. Completely hilarious. Haha! And I've got "an old friend" to thank for introducing me to Michael Thomas Ford.

So thank you, XLM, for lending me ABDLM. One of the many things I really loved about you and me is the love for good books.

Aside from Michael Thomas Ford, I think there are 10 more other books waiting to be read. Eeeep! Including Armistead Maupin, Mariane Pearl, among others. I really should get back on track with my reading.

Lastly, one of the books I've been wanting to get my hands on is Alek written by Sudanese supermodel Alek Wek. Unfortunately, it's out of stock in the bookstores where I usually buy my books. Sigh. If you know where I can get a copy, please let me know.

Quite interesting day after Hearts Day...

The day after Hearts Day turned out to be quite interesting, at least for some people. I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to write down the specifics, but let's just say that even for a day (the day after Hearts Day), the world was one grumpy person less. Hahaha!

The potential problem here though is that when one starts to analyze the situation. What does this situation mean? What happens afterward? Would one actually start to believe in something they don't believe in just because something happened? Hehehe! Or could one just take things as it is? That the situation calls for no analysis, and that things should be left as they are because there's really nothing to it. Haha! This is really confusing.

There's this (funny) saying that "everytime the Big Guy closes a door, he opens a verandah." Here's the catch though, the verandah is part of a palatial house and there's no warning that going through it is emotional suicide. Hahaha!

This is confusing, huh?

"Going out..."

The words "go out" has recently caused some problems because of its vagueness.

When person A asks person B, "Will you go out and watch Wicked with me?" does it automatically mean that person A is asking person B on a date. I assumed it was quite understandable but then it turns out that for some people, the term "go out" means just that, "to go out" and nothing more.

Is that only here in this country, or is it something experience by other Southeast Asians? Hehe! Or could I be too exposed to Western television where the term "go out" is immediately understood as an invitation to date, because person A is interested in person B (or if the stars are conspiring, there's mutual interest).

Anyway, there are two people I know right now who got into some sort of trouble because of the words "go out." One was asked to "go out." The other one asked another person to "go out." But as it turns out, the other persons in both scenarios are seeing someone. Augh!!!

And it's all because the phrase "go out" wasn't taken by the receiver as it was intended by the sender. Both the sender and the receiver weren't playing the same language game, Wittgenstein would have said. Augh!!!

Maybe the national dailies should run a frontpage story on Monday that the phrase "go out" means an invitation to date, and that people who are already seing someone should say no when they are asked out. Hehehe!

I know, I know, this entry is not too Valentine-esque. But seriously, someone should do something to prevent others from falling into the whole "go out" misunderstanding.

Off to the UP Fair on Valentine's Day...

As planned, Reena, Rhyz and I, together with Reena's friends Abbie and Ronald, went to the UP Fair in Diliman last night. None of us had dates but since we were in the Valentine's mood, we chose to go on Valentine's. (Alright, I was in the Valentine's mood. I don't know about my companions. Haha!) Plus, I checked the lineup of performers the entire week and last night seemed to be the most interesting.

Anyway, I was also excited because it was my first time to attend the UP Fair. Yeah, surprising, huh?! And I'm really glad I went. It felt good to be back in the University I love so much. Hehe! For dinner, there were many kiosks inside the Fair grounds and we chose to have a BBQ and rice combo (which seems to be a favorite among many UP students, when I think about it now. Haha!).

After dinner, we walked around to check out the kiosks. There were many interesting things to be bought. One stall was selling African accessories and home decor sold by a nice African woman. The girls bought ethnic-inspired earrings. I, on the other hand, bought a UP mug and a UP tote bag from another stall.

Afterwards, we hung out by the stage and watched the performing bands. A little after midnight, there was a fireworks display which was absolutely enjoyable to watch. The fireworks was immediately followed by a performance from capoeira dancers, which I failed to see, because there were so many people. The beat of the drums and the other instruments, however, was more than enough to make you shout, "Go Brazil!!! ...errr... UP!"

We left Diliman by 1:30AM. Got home by 2AM. It was a good Valentine's night out.

What Joaquin recently taught me...

Most of the time, people find big and small reasons to love (like) someone. Sometimes, you just really love (like) and the fact that you don't get to give a concrete reason doesn't make that love any less.

That's what I learned from my godson Joaquin from his last visit. We hardly see each other. The last time I saw him before the visit last weekend was several months ago, and yet when I saw the kid, he still strikes a chord in my heart. The same thing goes for my family. Man, I'm a border in my own house. I go home there to sleep and eat. I hardly spend time with my folks and brothers. And the few times that I am home, I sometimes get into an argument with them (but that rarely happens). Still, the few times we all get to sit down and eat together, I have a good time and I know that I love them.

There's really no need for a grand reason to defend why you'd want to spend some time with someone. For coffee, for a movie, for dinner. You just do. I hope that makes sense to you.

Happy Hearts Day!

This Thursday... UP Diliman...

This week isn't just Valentine's. It's UP Fair week too and I'm excited because we're planning to go this Thursday. That should be exciting. The celebration is the entire week, but since Thursday is V Day and there aren't any date plans, the UP Fair is a good excuse to still go out and have great fun with fellow single friends. Haha!

Plus the gimmicks and bands scheduled for that night are interesting. kamikazee | urbandub | rivermaya | sugarfree | chicosci | imago | stonefree | up dharma down | mojofly | radioactive sago project | silent sanctuary. there'll be fireworks, capoeira and fire dancers. Cool.

Who's that little boy?

There was a surprise visitor in the house yesterday. I was doing my usual Sunday morning chores when I heard a little boy asking for the front door to be opened. I haven't heard that voice for the longest time, but I knew who that kid was - Joaquin.

Joaquin is a godson I rarely see. I do want to spend more time with him, but circumstances won't allow it. How he came into this world is a story worthy of a soap opera episode, and while I did get to take care of him during his first nine months, he was brought to another home and the next thing I know, he's this adorable growing boy already.

It was funny how he reacted when he saw me opening the door. I asked him, "Do you know who I am?" He shyly replies, "Ninong Angelo." I let him in and he runs around the living room, and goes over to my Dad whom he calls "Tonio" to say hello. For the next hour or so, he just goes around the house playing PC games, running around, and doing other kid stuff.

I watch him and there's just something about this kid that brings out the "I want to be a Dad" in me.

Even if the traditional ones would say that they need to have a wider world experience or that they need to grow out of their youth before they can share some words of wisdom, I believe kids can teach you things.

And on the way to work this morning, I realized one thing I learned from Joaquin. I'm reserving that entry for the approaching Valentine's Day. Harharhar!

Work that Old Navy hoodie...

An apology is in order for this entry. Hehe. I don't mean to look vain and narcissistic (no offense meant to anyone, I swear) but I'm really into this Old Navy hoodie right now. Hehehe!

Everyone at work seemed to have left early last Friday, so I asked Reena to use her Nokia N72 on me. (Hmmm, that doesn't sound very clean, does it?) Hahaha! I wanted to play with my hoodie (again that didn't sound too nice...hahaha!).

Hence the self-photos. I'm trying to make that hoodie work. I was aiming for a college boy look (using books I borrowed from Nick's desk as props), a regular guy look, and of course, a pa-cute look. Hahaha! There's something about a hoodie that makes me feel like a jock, even though I'm far from being one. Hahahaha! There are two more photos but I'm too embarrassed to post them. Hehehe!

This is a rare case, since for the past eight years, I'm usually the one who's behind the camera taking photos of other people. How many times have I been pulled and pushed around by people saying, "Please take our photo. Please take our photo." Hehehe! There was even one time that a member of President Arroyo's security group picked me up because I was rushing towards the president to take a photo. (I was following orders from our company president. Hehe!)

Anyway, lately I've been getting a chance to be in the picture. Hehehe! I'm still the camera guy most of the time, but I must say it feels good to sometimes get the chance to be in front of the camera.

A very early High School Musical show...

Though I hit the sack at 3AM this morning, I got up at 5AM and was out of the house even before the sun was up. Went to PGH to meet some other people and about twenty wide awake kids. Hehe! It was good though. I haven't been able to attend any of these things for quite some time so I'm really happy I got to join this one.

The Ateneo Children's Theater staged High School Musical, and one of the Pahinungod partners who happens to be an Ateneo Grade School teacher, invited Pahinungod to bring kids from the margins to watch the musical. (Pam, I thought of inviting you but I wasn't sure if you're up for a very early Saturday thing.)

By 8AM, we were at Ateneo along with hundred of other kids from other institutions. The cast of the show were Ateneo grade school students. The female roles were taken by the grade school students of neighboring Miriam College and St. Bridget's. I thought the musical was good. For a show that was virtually run by elementary school students, I had to give it to them.

Apparently, the morning run was meant to be as some kind of "volunteer" thing. Personally, I was happy to find out that the Ateneo group usually does have a one free show for kids from who don't usually get to go to the theater. I was even happier to see that the kids who watched the show really appreciated the musical. They applauded very loudly several times during the show, particularly during Troy Bolton-Gabriela Montez scenes, and during the curtain call.

It was a good Saturday morning.

I think my son (if and when I have oen) will be educated by the Jesuits.

One and the Other One...

I want to ask someone out.

Uhm, actually, there's two of them that I want to ask out. One is slightly older than me. The other one I think just started building a career. They come from different worlds, and I think they have different ways of doing/thinking about things, and the age difference probably has something to do with it.

One seems to be more mature, and yet still able to maintain child-like qualities. And that's something that draws me to one. The life, the energy, the bursting positive outlook of one is just what a (almost) cynic like me needs. The other one I'm guessing still has to grow up, but I'm quite sure there's an adult already in that person already. And the good thing about this I guess is the other one's thirst for experience, for life, for daring and adventure could do a guy approaching his thirties some good, huh?

Both are extremely cute and charming, at least that's what I think. One is quite fit, skin looks tanned. The other one is a bit fair, with some excess baggage, which I think adds to the charming and adorable factor. The other one doesn’t seem to be that annoyed with it, which again is another reason why we likey. Both share a beautiful set of eyes though. And both appear to be neat, which I also find to be a major plus factor. Both seem to be smart and can engage people of various types in conversations. And both seem to be nice and possess some amount of compassion (but who knows?).

That's all I know about one and the other one. And if it were just me, I think both would make good the next. Haha! Don't get the wrong idea. I don't intend to ask the two out at the same time. That's just not me. I've always been the stick to one kind of guy. I guess what I'm saying is that if I were to ask anyone out right now, it would be one or the other one. Haha!

But torpe guy that I am, this is all there would be. Unless by some trick of fate, I bump into either or I find myself with either in a situation that would leave me guessing whether it's coincidence or not, this is all there would be I guess. Plus, there's also the fact(?) that both are presently hitched. One I'm quite sure is hitched. The other one's status is kinda vague to me.(How lucky can I be, huh? Haha!)

Actually, I do think I could ask either out (provided that either is free to see someone). The only concern is how to do it without looking like some creepy stalker. I mean what am I supposed to do, just pop a message saying, "Hey, hi. I was wondering if you'd like to go get caffeinated some time." Does it work that way? I have a feeling that instead of getting a chance to actually go out, I'd only be driving that person away. Haha.

So for the meantime, being a person who finds joy in the simplest things (most of the time), as weird as this may sound, I'm finding some sort of joy knowing that one and the other one have seen my little corner in cyberspace. Haha.

Throw Me into the Ring...

Something went wrong with my "DNA." For some reason, the "Eeewww! I can't eat carbs!" and the "I hit the gym every day." thinking are missing.

Anyway, I've been wanting to get into some kind of physical activity, since I started the Makati job but seven months have gone by and I still have to get into some sport.

When I was still at the Kalaw job, there was a nearby badminton court and I got to play every week together with some colleagues. And as much as I want to continue playing badminton with them, the commute alone from Makati to Kalaw in the evening could already pass for a light workout.

I do get to attend the taebo and ala-Body Jam classes here at the office once in a while, but I still have to develop the discipline to drag myself to those classes religiously. Last December, because of the pressure of the Menudo performance, I sort of pushed myself to really attend the classes and watch what I ate, and I think there were some results. But now that the Menudo thing is over, hmmm... I'm sliding back to the old habits. Eeeep!

The other night, Rhyz and I went to the Elorde Boxing Gym near La Salle to inquire. I've been wanting to try it out for the longest time, but I've been finding all excuses to delay it. Haha! It does look interesting though. More than the workout, I think it would be a great way to release the frustration every now and then. Hahaha! And what's good about this is that there's an Elorde Gym near my house, so I'm hoping that that would be enough motivation to go and sweat it out.

Last night, went to the mall to purchase a set of hand wraps and a pair of boxing gloves. I thought of getting the Everlast gloves for aesthetic purposes (I know, I'm such a sucker for designer labels) but I had enough sense to know that I'll be flushing P2,000 down the drain if the whole boxing thing doesn't go well. Hehehe!

Anyway, the next step now is to actually go back to Elorde and sign up. Hopefully, this weekend.

I need a thinspiration. Maybe Marc Jacobs or the Bench winner Carlo Guevara.

Survey...

1. It's about midnight. Who are you texting?
-- No one.

2. It's Wednesday afternoon, where are you usually?
-- At work.

3. Who are the last four people to send you a text message?
-- Nick, Ms. A, Thea, Reena

4. What brand of shampoo is in your shower right now?
-- Rejoice

5. Honestly, if you could have ANYONE in the world, who would it be?
-- Uhm, could it be...? Hehehe. Please. Hehe.

6. What are you listening to?
-- Burnside Project - Cue the Pulse to Begin

7. Your Christmas list consists of:
-- Presents for other people

8. Your ex just asked you out and you say?
-- Alrightey.

10. You need a new pair of jeans, what store do you go to first?
-- Ebay

11. How do you feel about your hair?
-- Neat and short.

12. What time do you wake up for work?
-- For work, I usually get up around 5:30AM.

13. What movie is in your DVD player?
-- Gilmore Girls

14. Last two numbers in your phone number?
-- My work phone: 22 My personal phone: 06

15. Who calls you by a nickname?
-- Almost everyone. People are too lazy to pronounce a name with three syllables. Haha! Long-time close friends call me Anj. Most of the people at work call me Gelo. Some people from call me Angel. My Mom calls me Gel.

16. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
-- The one near the wall.

18. Favorite T.V. show?
-- The O.C. Hehehe!

19. Your last E-mail was from?
-- Mike from IT

20. Favorite Beverage?
-- Coke Light -- it's bad.

21. When's the next you'll kiss someone of the opposite sex?
-- I don't know. If it does happen, there'll certainly be a blog entry about it.

22. What do your pants look like?
-- Charcoal gray.

23. Are you tired?
-- Not really.

25. Would you kiss the cook of tonight's dinner?
-- Unless it's...

27. Laugh much?
-- Yep.

28. What are your plans for Friday?
-- Watch a movie.

29. What is the dumbest thing you have ever done with your cellphone?
-- None yet.

30. Favorite sit down restaurant?
-- I have yet to decide on one.

Nobody Knows Me...

People who don't know me (and some acquaintances, even) often have this notion that I'm a reserved person, someone who can't do crazy things once in awhile. In short, boring.

Uhm, it's not like I really care about what other people think because my real friends would know that a.) I do have a good sense of humor and b.) you'd have to get to know me to see that I can be this mischievous boy every now and then. Haha! I'm going to stop before I begin ranting about other people. Haha!

Anyway, here are some "being stupid" shots taken on different occasions.


(Feeling) Paparazzi caught by SM City Cebu security. Haha. The security guys actually laughed when I asked them if they could pretend to manhandle me to get this shot.


Blessed by the LevelUp goddesses. LevelUp had a booth and these two lovely ladies were the ones getting people to try the LevelUp SIM. I couldn't resist asking for an "Engkantadia" shot. Hahaha!


Ooohh la la! Who's that girl? This was taken at the Ad Congress last year. Hahaha! That mannequin fooled many people.


Chicharong balat, anyone? Haha! Talk about damaged skin. Someone obviously forgot to buy some sunscreen for the Dinagyang Festival coverage.


There's nothing peculiar about this photo, except for the fact that this was my handcarry luggage on my last trip to Iloilo. Who the heck has this many handcarried luggage?


Feeling Hercules. Hahaha! Trying to make some noise with a batingaw.


Ooops, trying to find other uses for the rain gauge.