Meant to be a kabit (?!)... hehehe...

I'm starting to wonder if I am meant to be a kabit.

Don't laugh, don't be quick to judge, and don't stone me when you see me along Ayala Ave. because this is all just random blah blah, alright? Hehe! Neither am I a kabit right now or planning to be one soon.I'm steady lang with being single. Hehe!

Since 2009 came in, the people I've met and liked are the reasons why such a thought came to mind.

I've noticed a recurring cycle in the romance department of my life this year. I meet someone. I like the person. I flirt. The person flirts back. We flirt. And when I suggest dating on a regular basis, the person tells me he's in a relationship. WTF?! I think about befriending the guy, but I choose to back off instead. I end up beating myself for liking the guy, for assuming he'd actually be single, and for subjecting myself through this.

And it sucks because one of them I really, really, really liked. And I'm sure he felt the same way. You know, you just know, when you mean something to someone. I had to tell him that I was backing off because it was the right thing to do (at least that's what I think), and so that we won't get into any trouble. He, on the other hand, completely cut me off. Nalaglag ako sa upuan ko. Hahaha! I don't know. Bruised ego probably? But I did like him a lot. Anyway, that was the end of that.

I back off because I was taught that when someone says he's in a relationship, I should respect that and immediately forget any thoughts of his & his Tiffany bracelets, random secret escapes out of the city, and "Honey, I'm home" moments. Haha! While there was mutual flirtation at the start, as soon as I find out that the guy's taken, I go on auto-pilot and back off. I thought that was the rule of the game.

When the guy continues to flirt even after admitting he has someone, I still stick to my age old belief in relationships. Taken? Hands off. This leaves me in a somewhat pathetic predicament. The other guy goes on with his whatever, I'm left somewhat emotionally wounded.

With SG Dude, Paseo Vague Man, and Ice Man, it was like this. When I recognized this pattern, that's when certain questioning in my head took place. I swear, the ability of the human to rationalize is both a gift and a curse. Hahaha!

The thought of having a change of perspective re: guys in a relationship who continue to flirt with others came a couple of weeks ago when I was hanging out with one of my best friends, talking about relationships.

How about not feeling sorry, and instead turning the tables on the other person? The next time I encounter another SG Dude or Paseo Vague Man or Ice Man, what if I actually go for it? Think about it. Between me and the other guy, I'm really in a more advantageous position. I get my dose of romance (if you can call it that) and maybe something more, and then I decide I don't want to do it anymore and just drop the guy before he drops me. I wouldn't bother thinking how he'd explain everything to his partner. In the first place, if he were in a relationship, the only hand he should be holding is his partner's, right? I can be a "complete straight guy" and not show any remorse and just say, "Dude, pare, you wanted this, too. Sorry ka na lang, you have a boyfriend." And then walk away and move on.

Such a meanie, yeah? But remember, this is all hypothetical talk, alright? So please don't bitch slap me. Hehehe! Deep inside, I know that I'm still a cheesy, romantic person, a one-man man, and the vice-president of fans of fidelity and faithful partnerships.

I just had the thoughts above because of the recent circumstances I found myself in. TBH, I get scared that I even have these thoughts about being a kabit. I've had friends who've been cheated on, and when I think about the pain their partners have caused them, oh boy...

Plus, I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I'm quite sure I'm not kabit material. This wouldn't sound good but I'm a little - just a little - clingy (a little lang naman... hehe) that I'd want to be around the hubby (if there was one) when possible. Hehe! Heck, I even dream of being a Stepford Husband, of being a male Bree Van de Kamp (sans the ultra craziness). Hahaha!

So, right now, no. I still choose walking the other way, when I meet another SG Dude or Paseo Vague Man or Ice Man. I don't think I'm ready to give up just yet and join the ranks of Anne Boleyn, Camilla Parker Bowles, Monica Lewinsky, and "other women".

Surely, there must be another single (cute, smart, cheesy and charming... yaman din lamang nag-enumerate na tayo ng qualities) person out there who's going to sing (and dance) to me, "I want nobody, nobody but you..." Hehehe!