Some photos from the November wedding...

While looking at my blog posts last November, I saw that I didn't share much about my brother's wedding.

Except for that one photo at the church, there weren't any others.

Recently, my sister-in-law tagged me on some of their wedding photos which were just uploaded on Facebook.

Looking at the photos, I can't help but smile again as I was reminded of the very beautiful occasion.

Sure, I expected that I would be one day walking my brother or brothers down the aisle as they married their girlfriends. I just didn't expect that I would be doing it so soon. And I didn't expect that my youngest brother, who will always be my baby brother, will be the first one to tie the knot.

Being the Kuya and being the kancheong person that I am, I was worrying about a number of things concerning the wedding. On several occasions, I had to remind myself to keep my mouth shut as it is not my wedding. Haha! And I didn't want to add to the stress that my brother was going through.

A night before the event, my brother to his Kuyas and Mom to the venue of the reception. Of course, it wasn't all dressed up yet. I thought to myself, "Okay, things are looking okay."

The following day, when we reached the reception venue, my jaws dropped after seeing the transformation. It looked beautiful, it looked elegant. I was very proud of how my baby brother and his wife planned the whole thing.

After the event, I was a little bit more reassured that he knew what he was getting himself into. Hehe!

I'm also super happy that my best friend and my own best man! (Lol!), Tey, was able to join our family in the celebration. It really meant a lot to me.

Awww, weddings are so nice.

Thanks for the box...

So it was Whatsapp'd. So it shall be done.

Thanks for the box. Lol!

Random thought...

Image from here

Haha! Make up your mind because I already did.

Packed weekend, as usual...

It's a long weekend. Most of my friends are overseas for a holiday trip. RKGreg and MkSurf8 are in Perth. Tian3x is in Bandung. Even Mon is out of town for the weekend. Hehe. We were messaging each other yesterday and he said that he was on his way to JB with colleagues for an overnight stay.

It really didn't occur to me to plan an overseas trip as I am saving for the trip to Cambodia with Mom by end of June. Yeah, Cambodia is very budget-friendly but I'm buying plane tickets for two, hotel accomms for two, tour packages for two. Hehe! Not that I'm complaining. I'm really looking forward to the trip because 1.) Mom has no idea that we're going to Siem Reap (I just told her that I'll meet her in KL); 2.) it's her birthday on the third day of the trip and she has always wanted to visit Siem Reap.

Anyway, Friday and Saturday were still busy (as expected). Friday late afternoon, I made the trip to the East to join the send-off dinner for Rej. Her best gal pals hosted an intimate dinner at Jackie's place in Tampines. Initially, I told Rej to meet me at the airport for dinner since we didn't get to spend a lot of time chatting last Tuesday. Plans changed because of the dinner. A lot of food, of course! Good food! Hehe! After dinner, Jackie and her fam drove Rej to the airport. It was really nice seeing her. She'll be back in August so there's not enough time to miss this friend. Haha!

Yesterday, I went to Pump with Jon in the morning. We went for the usual class at Westgate. Jon thankfully made it in the nick of time to secure the last slot for the class. Yahoo! Again, because of the energy-draining heat, I found Pump to be quite tough. Gym was followed by a well-deserved lunch at Din Tai Fung.

In the afternoon, I headed to the museum for volunteer work. I had a big diverse group. About 22 people - Americans, Indians, Singaporeans, Indonesian, Malaysian and Irish! Interesting group to guide. The last agenda for the day was dinner with Richie and Ian. It was a rather impromptu dinner. Since Mon was out of town, I figured Richie might want to have dinner. The three of us just had a simple dinner at The Asian Kitchen in Raffles Link before parting ways.

When I got home, there was still time to FaceTime with Tipz. Hehe! Surprisingly, he was still awake. Well, not really surprisingly, since he usually sleeps late. I was complaining of the hot weather. He was complaining of the cold weather in Sydney. Hehe! We had a good chitchat for close to an hour before saying buh bye. Good catchup. I can't wait to visit Sydney!

Moving on, the weather these past few days has been close to unbearable. I really shouldn't be complaining given that India is experiencing 50 degrees lately and a thousand lives were already lost. I'm just saying that it has been very hot in the island lately. It's the kind of heat that saps the energy out of you. It's no wonder then that I've been sleeping very early (10PM, 1030PM). Hehe!

Alright, I have to end this post as I am going for a nature walk this morning. God help us with the heat. Hehe! It's a packed Sunday as well - nature walk, museum visit and Mass.

Have a blessed Sunday!

I'm going to tell you a secret...

I'm going to tell you a secret.

From late January/early February of this year up until yesterday, I was dating someone.

JKT Boy is two years short of turning 30, graduate from one of Singapore's top university, holds a PhD degree (and he's not even 30!), and works for a health sciences-related government agency.

But I guess one of the best things I like about JKT Boy is that he is also a practicing Catholic. Yup, a practicing Catholic. In fact, I think he is even more devout than I am. Hehe!

So, for the past three months, I've been seeing him regularly. We've been attending Sunday Mass together. We talk to each other everyday. We do pretty much what couples usually do...

except we don't have the title of a couple.

Right from the start, I made it clear that I'm not ready for a commitment, that I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship.

Yesterday, that became extremely clear. I told him we should just be friends.

He asked me if it had something to do with him or if it was because of my current situation--the lack of a sense of permanence. I told him it was a mix of both. I told him I need to work on my own situation first before I get myself into a relationship or some kind of serious commitment. To him, he felt that I was pushing people away from being too close. He was adamant about keeping things going, saying that two people can help each other out with each other's issues. But I know myself. And I know I don't want to drag someone into my own issues because I would end up thinking about my issues and I would end up worrying about the other person thinking about my issues.

He had his own issues as well. At first, I was hesitant to tell him about it because it was his own issue and it's better for him to work on it and figure it out on his own. But he was persistent. Basically, I told him that I don't want to get into a relationship or any commitment whereby I will be introduced as the "best friend," the "friend from the Philippines," or worse, where I will be the secret. I don't want to the double life of the person whereby he has a life with his friends, and then he has his life with me. I don't want to not be known by the family. I know that I am now capable and ready to introduce someone to my own family, to friends in Manila, in Singapore or anywhere. I somewhat expect something similar.

Bottomline: I have my own issues that I want to sort out on my own. He has his own issues to sort out as well.

Looking back at our conversation right now and the past three months, I am confident to say that JKT Boy is a keeper. He and I don't have a lot of things in common but the past three months have been working because we meet halfway. And under different circumstances, I would be happy be in a relationship with him. Ours was really just a case of "right emotions at the wrong timing."

Last night, omw home, we were still chatting lightly over WhatsApp. He sent the above message. That made it even more clear that yeah, this guy is a keeper. And who knows? Maybe when I hit 42, things would be better for both of us and if we're bound to meet again, it will happen.

On another note, another lesson learned from all of this is that I really should just take a break from dating or at the very least, not get myself into serious dating. Although I am leaning more towards the former. This is the second time since PG Boy that I almost got myself into a relationship. First there was NB Boy, then there's JKT Boy. In both cases, including PG Boy's, I got out because of the same reasons. Sp yeah, I think I should just stop dating for now.

Anyway, as it is, my plate is already full with work, gym, volunteer work, Japanese lessons, to name a few things. It gets lonely at times, yeah, but I have faith that I have been blessed with enough good friends to keep me happy and sane. Haha!

Last night, I messaged Richie and Mon, "I'm going to tell you a secret." I gave them a gist of the JKT Boy story.

Richie asked, "Why did you keep it from us, friend?" I said, "Hmm, I wanted to spare you guys or any other friends from another 'almost a relationship' story."

I can write about it now because it is over. I will maybe hang on that WhatsApp message above.

Flights to Cambodge, booked... and an IG post...

Well, today went by quite fast. Half of work was spent at home, half was spent at the office. Except for a vendor problem with one of the accounts I'm handling, today at the office was not very stressful.

The highlight I guess would be getting to booked the flights from KL to Siem Reap for me and my Mom. Woohoo! Thankfully, my team lead approved the leave dates I applied for. As soon as I saw that the leaves have been approved, I shot my team lead an email to thank her for the approval and then I proceeded to book the flights. Air Asia has an ongoing promo. What would normally cost about $300 per pax became $300 for both my Mom and me. Yay! Thank you, Lordy!

What's left to book are Mom's MNL-KL flight and my SG-KL flight. The good thing is that I found a flight where I will arrive in KL ahead of my Mom by an hour or so. That way, I can wait for her at the airport. We spend a night in KL and then fly to Siem Reap first thing the following day.

Of course, my Mom doesn't know about this whole trip yet. Maybe when I book her MNL-KL flight, I'll tell her that we'll just go to KL. And when we get to KL, I'll tell her that we're actually going to Cambodge. I wonder how she'll react. Hehe! She might have a heart attack there and then because she's been wanting to go see the magnificent Angkor temples for the longest time.

Two more things that will make this trip special. First, my Mom's birthday will fall on one of the days of the trip. Second, my best friend Tey will be joining us for the trip. She also booked the Air Asia flight. She still has to book her MNL-KL flight. Hmm, I wonder if I should ask her to just fly with Mama. Hehe!

I've been to Siem Reap in 2009. My travel buddy was one of the best friends of my first ex. Suffice to say that my first ex was so surprised when he found out that I was traveling with one of his best friends. The best friend is straight. He's one of those cool straight guys who can be best buds with guys who play for the other team. Haha! It was a week long trip, I think. Our journey started at Ho Chi Minh where we spent a night or two before taking the bus to go to Siem Reap.

If not for my Mom, I would rather use up the money for a trip to some place I've never been. But I guess it will be good to see the temples again. The first time I was there, I was just in awe of everything. I couldn't help but admire all those craftsmen and artisans who worked together to build such glorious structures. The Angkor temples are definitely a must-visit for anyone who loves history or old architecture.

Moving on, the verse above was from an Instagrammer named beau taplin. Chris is a huge fan of the said Instagrammer. This morning, he tagged me to the post above. When I read the verse, my reaction was, "Meant for me?!" Hahaha! I must admit that again, it reminded me of HB Boy. To be honest, I don't know why HB Boy is still in my system. Three short months of dating and he still lingers in my mind. Certain places, certain songs, certain dishes bring back memories of him. I think a part of me still thinks of him because I never really found closure. I know that I may never get it since he's already disappeared.

I shared the IG post above with Tipz, telling him that it reminded me of HB Boy. Tipz being my best bud in SG that he is replied,"Friend, it wasn't love, trust me. If it was, it will be too painful to part the way he did." Awww... thanks, Tipz! Haha!

Hmm, maybe I should delete all the remaining photos of HB Boy in my phone. That should help, right?

Good news shared by good friends...

Schadenfreude: the German word which means happiness in the misfortune of others.

Now, what do you call happiness in the good fortune of others?

Today, I felt blessed that two friends messaged me to tell me about the extremely good news they received today. One friend messaged me in the morning, while I was having breakkie. The other friend messaged me around noontime. However, I only managed to reply to her and chat with her in the evening.

It was a good start and a good end to the day, imho.

For the first friend, it was about finally getting her fiancé visa after months and months of waiting. For the second friend, she shared that she finally bagged the job with a new company after being in between jobs for a few months. I was genuinely happy for both friends as I knew about their concerns right from the start. Both of them have always been included in my prayers every Sunday at Mass. So, I couldn't be more delighted to hear that the prayers have been answered.

I will be honest though. For I am only human, I wondered in mind to Him, "What about me, Lord? When will it be my turn?"

The thought didn't last very long as it became clear to me what his message was, "Wait. It's not yet time." And he used both of my friends as his instruments in delivering the message. Though different circumstances, there was one thing common: both had to wait. Both had to remain faithful and prayerful. And in the end, they received what was in store for them.

Call it reading too much into things. Maybe. But the faithful and trusting person in me firmly believes that that was Him telling me His message through my friends.

The message has been consistent. Last Sunday, the readings at Mass carried the same message. As the priest paraphrased it, "Walk away from your fears. Walk towards the path of faith."

It's easy to fall into the trap of being kancheong. I've been described to be as such by a few people. Haha! Slowly, slowly, I'm learning to let it go and put my trust in Him. My constant prayer is for Him to increase my faith. Then, I begin to worry less and I get excited about what He has in store for me.

For now, I'll just keep on doing what my first friend told me, "Enjoy while waiting."

Oh, about the verse above... If I were ever to get a tattoo, I now know what my tattoo will be. Matthew 6:34.

We are adults...

When did that happen?

A boy sold me a box of ice cream...

On my way home from the gym the other night, a boy probably in approaching early his teen years walked up to me. He was carrying an ice box with him. He opened the ice box and showed boxes of ice cream. He told me he was selling them to help finance his studies.

This was the second time I've experienced something like this. The other similar situation was with a poly student. I was on my way to meet some friends and this poly student approached me. He showed me his ID to prove he is a student of a certain poly. He then showed some papers and asked if I would be willing to help him. I asked him how his grades were. He said they were okay. I told him to study harder before parting with my $10.

The situation with the poly student was not too surprising. The one with the primary school student was very surprising.

I told PG Boy about it. He thinks it might be some modus operandi. I doubted it. Otherwise, someone would have already reported it. To me, if that kid tried to dupe me, then karma will get him for me.

Singapore is generally perceived to be a very wealthy country. It is. Uhm, it has the highest concentration of millionaires. Hello. Any first time visitor to the country would already be wowed by Singapore even before that person has left Changi Airport. When one goes to Orchard or Marina Bay Sands Shoppes, all the luxury shops that sell pieces with astronomical prices are there. The fact that these shops are in business mean they have customers.

But having lived here for three years now, there have been quite a few situations where I wondered about the lives of other groups of people. A few times, I've experienced an elderly asking for loose change because they need to get to some MRT station. I wonder where the frail aunties and uncles selling tissue papers go after an entire day of sitting at some corner. I wondered about those senior citizens who are alone in life and cannot work anymore. Where do they stay? How can they afford the insane rent of flats? (Mr. Lim explained to me once that the government has flats with very low rental for the low-income groups.) A few of those times that I came home very late, I've seen father and daughter and sometimes, senior citizens, going through rubbish bins scavenging for recyclables. There was also one time when I saw an individual sleeping under the stairs of an HDB flat. The person just had a blanket wrapped around him.

I'm confident that the government has programs to help the low-income groups. I wonder if all groups have access to the assistance. Whatever gap I guess is filled in by the non-government organisations.

It still just surprises me, I guess. When I told some of my close visiting friends about these things, they were really shocked to hear that it exists in Singapore.

Hmm, not everything is what they appear to be I suppose.

I loved Monuments Men...

Earlier, I watched The Monuments Men and I didn't expect that I would love it so much.

I had an idea on what the movie was about, but it was only when I watched the movie that I fully understood the magnitude of how epic the true story on which the movie was based on was.

Referred to as the greatest treasure hunt of history, the Monuments Men tells the story of the efforts of the allied nations to rescue cultural artefacts stolen by the Nazis during World War II.

In real life, the "Monuments Men" was a group of about 345 men and women from thirteen nations. They comprised the Monuments, Fine Arts, and Archives section during World War II. From what I read, the group was composed of museum directors, curators, art historians, artists, architects, and educators who all shared one mission - to protect monuments and other cultural treasures from the destruction of World War II.

In this interesting article, it names a few of the pieces that were rescued during the operation. Thanks to these men and women, the world can still see Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa and The Last Supper, Michelangelo’s “Madonna of Bruges,” Édouard Manet’s “In The Conservatory” and Rembrandt’s “Self-portrait, 1645″.

It was only while watching the movie that it occurred to me that yeah, thank god someone thought of rescuing these priceless pieces during the war. When nations are fighting and people are dying, art is probably the last thing on many people's minds.

However, one takeaway that I got from the film and I'm sure from the story of the real Monuments Men is this: art is part of a nation's history. It is the nation. Societies will rise again. Nations will be rehabilitated. But these cultural pieces, once gone, are forever gone.

I can't imagine Juan Luna's Spoliarium being stolen or worse, burnt. I shudder at the thought of paintings by Anita Magsaysay-Ho or BenCab being destroyed. I cringe at the thought of a UP Oblation with a missing head or arm.

The movie seems to have been getting mixed to negative reviews. Still, it is worth seeing. If the movie twisted a few things about the real story, I'm quite sure it's not as bad as what the producers of Pompeii did. Hehe!

Now, I'm curious if I should skip Brussels and just go to Bruges and Ghent. Hmmm...

Twice as good...

For some reason, the week that just ended was just a string of unfortunate events at work. It is supposed to be Christmas and yet, I felt like the mood was that of Good Friday.

Some problems came up with some of the projects I was working on. What should have been a smooth sailing workflow suddenly entered a stormy sea. Rarely do I feel stressed at the office and this week, boy did I feel something happening on my nape. (Hypertension, is that you?)

Friday was the worst I guess. One, a project that was almost done is now facing a slight delay all because of a simple request to add a small detail. Two, I missed including important dates in a report that I wrote. An email from a higher office sent a chill down my spine. Strangely, I am somehow thankful that a team mate got a similar email. It may have been a joke. It may have been not. But it was enough to remind me of a friend's advice when I was still planning to move to SG.

When I got home close to midnight, I turned on PG Boy's laptop to check some emails. I was very happy to see three emails. While composing my reply, I was telling PG Boy how I'm kicking myself for the few hiccups. He told me that I was putting too much pressure on myself. #justsaying And I told him that surely, he must understand where I'm coming from.

"Why should you be chosen?"

Sheesh, I've been overanalysing things that a scene from the first episode of Scandal season 3 played in my mind. It is definitely good reminder to keep me on my toes.

Let's hope the coming week and the whole of 2014 will be awesome.

On a bigger picture, I think I really have to find time to sit down and work on another project. It's time to set things into motion.

Thank you, Mr. Mandela...

World leader Nelson Mandela passed away today.

That's probably the biggest news this week.

I remember one general assembly we had during my primary 3 or primary 4 days and it had something to do with apartheid. That was the first time I heard such a big word. Since I was still clueless about how evil the world can be (and how awesome it remains to be), I did not really fully understand it. I just knew that it was a bad thing.

On the way to work today, I was reading a couple of articles about the great man. He was and is indeed very inspiring. One of the articles I read described him as a man who would shake hands with everyone - from world dignitaries to the hotel staff, security, et al working at the hotel where an event he was attending was held. He was definitely my kind of guy, in this aspect.

There were several wonderful quotes attributed to him. Above is probably one that is most relevant at the moment.

Thank you for being a leader by example, Mr. Mandela. Rest in peace.

Random post...

Just a few more weeks to go before we say goodbye to 2013.

I've been ready to say goodbye since July of this year. It was mainly because of the death of my father.

Having just celebrated my birthday a few weeks ago, I realize that this year is not really a bad year despite and in spite of a lot of things. It still has been and continue to be a good year. I am grateful for the blessings and the challenges.

I dunno. I became even more grateful this past year, I think. There's hardly a day where I don't feel blessed or thankful. Is that weird? Hehe!

Hey, August...

Hello, August! =)

Well, the first month of the second half of the year is over and I'm really glad with how it turned out to be.

I took on new responsibilities at work (read: promotion Hehe!). The final exam of the museum guiding course at the National Museum went well. Mrs. Morales will be going on her first overseas trip next week. There was the good trip to Manila at the start of the month. I say good because I went back to Manila with peace knowing that Tonyo is in a better place.

There are small challenges every now and then, but nothing to stop me from feeling grateful everyday.

Thank you po for all the blessings... and the challenges as well.

August, I'm sure you will do better than July. Yeah?

Up at 540AM on a Sunday...

Argh! Who wakes up at 540AM on a Sunday?! Haha!

No matter what I do, I think my body clock has already been fixed to wake up this early even on weekends.

Seriously, I wish I can still stay in bed and just sleep like most of my friends do. But no, I just wake up at this hour and can no longer go back to sleep. I think I got this from my Mom.

I remember her waking up before 5AM (she's much worse... lol!) and she would just do her own stuff by the sort of bar counter at the kitchen.

On the other hand, I am also thankful to be able to wake up this early. I feel like I'm able to do more, experience more, see more and so on because I am out of bed early. Just last Wednesday, Mr. Lim and I were talking about how we always find it difficult to get people to join us on our nature walks.

Our conclusion: We are the only two crazy people among our friends willing to wake up quite early for Mother Nature. Hehe! However, we both agreed that we felt good about that being able to do a lot of things already while the rest of the island is still in bed. Hehe!

So, this whole waking up early is not so bad after all, I guess.

Must be a sign...

Image from here

I think I may have just been given the sign.

These past few weeks, there is this one thing that has been constantly in my head. While there is really no need to think about it now, I cannot help but spend a few minutes thinking about it every now and then.

When I head to Mass in the morning, I would always ask Him to give me even a small sign that would help me get to a decision on this thing I'm thinking about.

The sign may have finally arrived yesterday. I was reading something on my way to class, and it just occurred to me, "This may be the sign I'm waiting for." Hehe!

I don't know if it is worth believing in signs. I believe we are the masters of our own destiny (most of the time... lol). Or maybe I should say that I believe we're co-pilots with the Big Guy up there.

So every now and then, prayer does help and a little sign may also help push one to finally make a certain decision. Hehe!

...

There has to something good to come out of all of these... There has to be...

Habemus Papam Franciscum...

Woke up to good news.

We have a Pope.

Monday was quite shitty...

It's one of those days...

I dun usually have any problems with Mondays, but this week's Monday was turning out to be quite a challenge.

Work will be extra toxic this week, and I guess in the coming weeks. Because of some recent changes within the department, I have to transfer my current workload to another person. Afterwards, I have to take on a new workload. It's going to be somewhat different, and it's going to be like starting from scratch again because the processes are quite different with this particular workload.

Plus, it would mean a whole new round of introductions and figuring out working styles of colleagues who are scattered around the world.

But it's all good, I guess. New work means new learning experiences. It's just a bit saddening that this is happening as a result of what happened to a colleague.

Then, just as the day was going to end, I receive an SMS which caused further worry and stress.
Nope, no one's sick nor dying. In fact, if I'm going to be very logical about it, it should not be something to be worried about. But I do worry about it, because it is causing unexpected anxiety and worry.

It makes me question certain things that happen in my life. I am very grateful for the life that I have right now. I really feel blessed for being where I am. I am glad to have what I have at the moment. But I know it can be better.

And when I see certain things around me, I couldn't help but ask how come some things seem to be more difficult to me than it is for others? It makes me ask which step did I miss which led to things becoming more challenging? It makes me question if there's something in the rulebook that I failed to follow.

It's just one of those days...

I do know that they key is to remain and stay positive. Life is what you make of it, after all. So it's a matter of taking charge of the things you can take charge of, and doing what you can to change things you dun have full control of, I suppose.

As MkSurf8 always tells me, the important thing is to be happy. If at the end of the day, one is happy, then it should be okay I suppose...

Tomorrow will be better...

Wah, so damn expensive the dentist...

Sigh. I just came from a visit to the dentist to have a tooth checked.

Over the weekend, I noticed the one of the molars was chipped.

So I went to the dental clinic near my home. The doctor asked what I needed. I thought all I needed was a filling.

But no, an X-ray had to be done.

Then the dentist told me that my only options were either to extract the tooth or have a root canal procedure. I asked for the rate, and it's so damn expensive.

Sigh.

I feel down right now because I feel trapped. But I know I have other options. I should consider either a trip to Malaysia or back to Manila.

Leaving the tooth as it is is definitely not an option.

I need a happy meal right now to make me smile.