Sunday, January 4, 2015

Hashtag breakfree or hashtag tell me... Haha...

Richie sent the above image to our group chat. My reply was along the lines of, "Wow! How appropriate! Lol!"

Over the holiday, I spoke with a friend who underwent a relationship issue not too long ago. Things have already been fixed between the couple but my friend is having a hard time understand how such a thing happened.

To my friend, I felt the thought that came to my mind was, “How could it happen to me? I’m a good person.”

I told my friend, “You just have to get past it. There is probably no reason nor good explanation why it happened to you.”

Few weeks later, I find myself telling myself the same thing.

“I just have to get past it. There is probably nor reason nor good explanation why it happened to me.”

This is about HB Boy. For some reason, he just vanished into thin air. The last exchange we had was 40 minutes after the clock struck 12 on 1 January.

I sent him a message the following day. No reply. I sent a message on the evening of that day. No reply. I sent a message a day later. Still no reply. Last night, I sent a message to his other number. The day is almost over and still, there is no reply. I’m not sure what to think of it. The messages were not received by the phones (based on the icons next to the message - a single gray arrow). His other phone says that he was last online yesterday at 8PM.

Have I tried calling? Nope, I haven’t. I think that’s already being too much of a clingy.

The other thing that I told Richie was, “Unless he got into some accident or he is afflicted with some terminal illness, I think he would have found a way to still get in touch with me. This probably just proves that the interest has waned.”

HB Boy previously disappeared for two days, but he said he was down with the flu. It was really bad that he couldn’t get out of his bed. Okay, that was understandable. This time around, it’s a bit challenging to understand the situation. It makes me feel like I’m in a really bad homo version of Gone Girl. Haha!

To be honest, I’m wondering what happened. There must have been a reason behind the sudden disappearance. This is not the first time I’ve experienced something like this. It’s probably better to just say, “That’s it. Move on,” but there’s a tiny part of me that still wonders, “What happened? Where did things go wrong?”

The good thing about all of this is that I have not yet invested a lot of emotions in it. In a certain way, I was able to notice some early signs that something was changing. That was enough to have me put my guard up.

Sayang though. HB Boy is a good guy. He’s smart. He’s funny. He’s probably just not courageous enough to admit certain things (e.g. that we want different things, for now; or that he’s had a change of heart).

Oh well...

I could go down the road of overanalyses, but I'm choosing not to do the whole "How could this happen to me?" routine. I just believe that I'm a good guy and I deserve to be treated better. I also just tell myself that things like this happen. Just have to charge it to experience, I guess. Who knows? He might resurface one of these days... a good explanation.

For now, it’s either Ariana Grande’s Break Free or Side A’s Tell Me. Hahahaha!