Coming out again...

Friday night was quite exciting.

I did something I thought I won't be doing anymore. Haha! When I was about to do it, I could feel my heart beating so fast. I was really nervous. If it weren't for the car A/C, my shirt would have probably drenched in sweat.. Haha! But I managed to do that which I sought out to do that night, so that's all that matters.

Friday night, while my friend D was driving along Katipunan, I came out to him.

I don't know why I did it. I just knew I had to.

D and I go way, way back. I met him when I was in Grade 6 (I think). He was already in high school. My other friends sorta "feared" him. They thought he was a snob or that he was intimidating. He was. He still is. I guess I just wasn't one of the guys who got "afraid" of him. (He's probably going to read this, and I can already imagine the sarcasm going on inside his head about me not being afraid of him. Haha!) He was the one who introduced me to Filipiniana books back then. If you're reading this D, I got into serious trouble with my parents back then because of one book I bought after you let me read some pages on your copy. Haha!

We've been hanging out lately, which I actually enjoy. It helps that his office is near my office. It also helps that we somehow like the same things - travel, Greenbelt, consumerism. Wahaha!

Anyway, it just occurred to me that if I'm going to keep on hanging out with this guy, he has to know. I'm done living that double life. If I had the guts to tell a person I've known for 5 minutes the truth about me, I think it's only fair that a person I've known for almost two decades now should know the truth about his friend.

After telling D the "truth," he just said he was cool with it. A few minutes later, he told me he already knew. I wanted to clobber him, but he'd probably drive us off the road and that would be the end of us… literally. Hahaha! He told me he stumbled upon my blog, and that's how he found out. Jeez! He could've just told me he already knew, while I was struggling to get the words "I'm coming out" out of my mouth. That would've made things easier. Haha!

Though I have to say I wasn't too worried about his approval, or anyone's approval when it comes to this matter. I'm certainly done worrying about how the other person is going to take my coming out. I've lost friends who couldn't accept that part of me, including one guy who I thought could be a friend for life, so I've come to accept that people do come and go. It sucks. But it's part of life. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. And I certainly wouldn't apologize for finding out that I am who I am.

When I got home, I texted D to thank him for not freaking out (yet?) about the whole admission. He was polite enough to reply back and say that I need not worry about anything.

Let's see if he'll still say the same thing after he finds out about the four-year relationship that ended a couple of years ago and other things. Hehehe!