Jack Berger-ed...

I've been Jack Berger-ed.

You remember Jack Berger from the first few episodes of SATC season 6. Carrie was dating writer Jack Berger. They appeared to be getting along very well. If you followed the series, you would know that the two split and then Berger tells Carrie he wants to make things work. And then just after one night that Berger says this to Carrie, the poor girl wakes up alone in her bedroom with a post-it that read - I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me.

That's episode came to mind while I was thinking of how to write about the recent dud in the dating department.

I went out on a couple of dates with this guy I (thought I) really liked. He was smart. He was funny. He was in a profession I look up to very much mainly because that profession ran in my family (the earlier generations, at least).

And he was also waaaayyy younger.

Don't ask how young. Let's just say that when he was born, I was already running around grade school playing cops and robbers. Hahaha!

Initially, I was worried about the age thing. I mean, come on. The last time I went out with a guy much younger, he mentioned Justin Bieber and I just stared at him wondering who the heck he was talking about. Gawd, I'm old.

So I said no more dating younger guys. But then this recent guy turned out to be quite different (that's what I thought then). Our first non-date date went really well. When we were together, I didn't really feel the age gap. That's when I thought I'll give this a shot.

Another reason why I went ahead with going out with the guy is the story of my folks. My Dad is 15 years older than my Mom. They've been married for the past 32 years, I think. They don't have the perfect marriage, but they're still together. So they probably did something right. If a marriage with a 15 year age gap survived, hmm, I thought this is worth trying.

Anyway, things were on the way to great with this guy. My best friends could tell. I had a huge smile on my face. I was getting kilig. I wasn't in a gray area, which I absolutely liked.

Then on a recent date, we came into some sort of "argument." He wanted something. I wanted different. Because of a few words that came out of each other's mouths, his mood (and at that moment, his feelings) changed faster than you can spell Hinulugang Taktak.

I explained my side, and told him why I chose what I chose thinking he'd understand. Instead, that led to a list of faults he saw in me but never really mentioned. It's amusing because I honestly thought he was liking me for being me. Because that's how I was during the few times we went out and those times that we talked. I liked him for who he was. Stupid me, I believed that he felt the same.

The list of faults came in a message that was generally mean and hurtful. Thank god for the four years in the corporate world, I've become sort of thick-skinned. Still, the message was hurtful. While I was still processing things, my best friend was so ready to break a nose and a face. I can't really blame her. That's what best friends do. As for me, I was just numb.

A day after the message came, the guy got in touch with me again. He explained his side - why he acted the way he did, what he thought he wanted. Stubborn person that I am, I somewhat believed. Told him the ball was in his court. I knew what I wanted. And I was ready to make some changes in me. It was him who was unsure of things.

I told him to think about things. My upcoming out of town business trip was a good time for him to think, I said. I, on the other hand, will just be here.

Last night, I finally got another message, the content of which can be summarized by his last sentence.

"I'm sorry I can't be that guy."

Uhm, a part of me was already expecting that. I tried to be an adult about it, and thought to respond properly. If it were my two other very good friends, they would have preferred I send a response that was "more fitting." Hehe!

And there you have it. My Jack Berger moment! I think Lady Gaga was thinking of this boy when she wrote that song.

Jeez, ewan ko ba why these things happen to me. Natutulog ata ako ng magsabog si Lord ng magandang kapalaran sa larangan nag pag-ibig. Haha! Failure after failure. It gets tiring. The heart should have a quote for the number of heartaches it has to go through. It's too draining.

There. Just had to write this.