Uhm, just before 2010 ended, I went out with a guy who's about ten years my junior. Haha!
Before you start hurling stones at me while shouting "Cougar! Cradle snatcher!" or whatever, let me just say that I really had no expectations whatsoever from the couple of times that we went out.
It's not because of the huge age gap. The age difference wasn't really that big of an issue for me because my own folks have a 15-year age gap and yet they managed (and are still managing) to co-exist peacefully. Haha!
And I'm at that point (most of the time) where I just want to put myself out there to meet people. Never mind the age. (This isn't to say that I've thrown away my bucket list. It's still very much present in my mind.) I'm just opening myself to meeting new people.
Anyway, going back to the guy, he was very much what an ideal date is - nice, smart, driven, conversant with almost everything, and confident (Admit it! It takes a lot of daring for a 22-year-old to go out with a 28 year old, fine a 31-year-old. Haha!).
Everything was going well until I one time tried to discreetly hold his arm while we were seated side by side. He pulled away and when I looked at him, he just moved his head from left to right to indicate that it wasn't okay.
Uhm, I wasn't hurt by it. I respect the guy.
I teased him, "You're not out, huh?" He replied, "I am. I just not into the whole PDA thing."
That's cool, I thought. No problem with me. That's when I realized that I keep on forgetting that not everyone is as, uhm, comfortable or at ease as I am when it comes to the whole beki thing. I went through that phase. It was my friendship with my becks barkada, the work with Icon, getting to talk to the older badings and kyombers that made me less caring of what other people thought about "us."
I realized that I just don't think I can go back to that way of life where I have to walk on eggshells when it comes to showing affection towards someone I like. I'm not even talking about liplock here. I don't think I'm ready for that. I'm just talking about the usual my arm over his shoulder or vice-versa, maybe a brush of the hands or a quick tight hug just before we part ways.
So I guess, lesson learned. I guess this is one more criteria that's kind of important to me when it comes to people I go out with.
I've removed Kenny Rankin's Hiding Inside Myself from my iPod a looong time ago. No plans of putting it back on the playlist any time soon. Just saying.
The picture was cute..
ReplyDeleteI remember the scene from My Bestfriend's Wedding, the part where Julia Roberts is asking the guy why they broke up. they guy said, "You always move away when I hold you." - or something like that. In the movie, Cameron just feels the moment and doesn't bother about public display. So the guy sort of chose Cameron over Julia.
Ako din, I'm not into the whole PDA thing but holding hands is fine. I always hold the hand of whoever I'm with when crossing the street, regardless of age and gender. :D
you'll find someone better bro. someone who doesn't run away from himself. :)
Hey, Nielz. Nice photo, right? I'm just evil and didn't credit it. Hehe!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, going to your comment, yeah I remember that scene in My Best friend's Wedding! Awww!!!
I'm okay with holding hands, too. Haha! Napapagkamalan na nga ako ng ibang tao na boyfriend ng mga officemates ko na girls because I don't mind holding hands with them. Haha!
Thanks for the kind words, ah! Ingats.
i must admit guilty ako nito minsan. i guess kasi at the end of the day, andami paring judgment sa mundo. sad.
ReplyDeleteHey, Nyl! :) Okay lang iyan. Kanya kanyang cherva lang naman iyan. :)
ReplyDelete