Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Something to look forward to...

Over lunch, my conversation with a good friend at work dwelled on the fact that I'm going to turn 35 in less than two months.

I can't really remember how our convo was steered into that direction.

My guess is because we were talking about how her life was going to change in a few months time. Aside from the fact that she is going to tie the know, this friend is also going to move to the other side of the world. Two major changes in one go.

I think that was how I got started in talking about my upcoming birthday. I told my friend how it is sort of a big deal for me since I consider it to be a milestone. It is a milestone because I consider 35 to be my mid-life. Haha!

Somewhere along the conversation, I told my friend, "Not to be morbid, but if I returned to our Creator tomorrow, I would actually be fine. I feel like I've accomplished quite a lot in my life these past three decades. Sure, there are other dreams but really, I can't think of having any regrets if the Lord suddenly decides it's time to go."

Then, I told her, "The difference between you and me is this. After you get married, you're going to have kids. After you have kids, you're going to have to keep on working because you have to send the kids to school, and so on and so forth. I don't have that. We don't have that - that set path in life that most straight people can easily choose to take."

My friend replied, "I don't know how to put it into words, but I know what you're saying."

Then she added, "I read somewhere that three things in life are essential - someone to love; something to do; something to look forward to."

We agreed that for her, all three boxes are ticked. In my case, I have number two. I may have number one in the near future (I hope). Or maybe not, but I know I'll still be fine. What I'm kind of missing is the number three. I do have plans but they're still up in the air.

In a previous post, I've written about how the constant message I've been getting from Him is, "Wait." That I've been patiently doing. In fact, one of my prayers every Sunday is to tell Him what my plans are but ending it with "Your will be done."

I guess I would rather that I really know what to look forward to. Right now, it's still a gray area. It adds pressure to the weird feeling I'm having about turning 35. Haha!

The three things considered as essentials in life sound too simplistic, but there is some truth to it. Maybe things should be less complicated from 35 onwards. Haha!

There are a list of things to look forward to, but the ones I have are all short term.

For now, I look forward to finding some place that leads to citizenship. I need something permanent. I look forward to getting back into a relationship and eventually, getting married. Yes, it dawned upon me that I do want to get married. And I'm talking about a wedding that includes my family and my partner's family plus friends. I look forward to a few holiday trips, including the US and a return to my favourite cities in Europe. I look forward to attending the weddings of a few loved ones.

These are all good, but I need something more major to look forward to for the next 35 years of my life.

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